I want to share an experience I had and what I learned. I think it will help others as it has helped me.
Last Sunday I was coming home from the softball field, it had been a long day and I was tired. I wasn’t driving so I allowed myself to drift off. Just as I felt myself sink into a sleep like state, I saw myself in a round room, much like an amphitheater. There were many beings surrounding me and I was getting pegged with questions from Lady Nada. I felt this had been going on for a while but I had just now tuned into it. I understood immediately that it was an initiation ceremony.
One of the things that she wanted to discuss was abundance and the drive to have more in my life. She asked me if I were to stop growing, achieving at this moment, would it be enough? My immediate thought was No! I’m not done, I’m just beginning but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for all that I had grown and been given previously. She picked up on it immediately and looked at me with a smile and said “You can still want more for yourself and be grateful for where you are in this moment.” I told her that I had been struggling with abundance. She said that many people, especially spiritual people have a misunderstanding of abundance, which is nothing more than energy.
She told me to look at myself as a bucket of energy, a bucket that receives and gives. She said that in order to do more, to be more you must be able to receive more. She explained that if the bucket is not full then we are not able to give as much or achieve as much as we could. She said that many do not fill their bucket even when we are given opportunities by the universe.
I immediately thought of a situation that had happened the day before. I was on the softball field and hungry because I didn’t pack enough food and the concession stand is not too helpful to a gluten free vegetarian. I passed by one of the team mom’s and she had a quinoa dish that she was eating with gluten free crackers. It looked delicious and she told me it was made with olive oil, tomatoes, cucumbers, and bits of kale. She asked me if I wanted to try some and I said no. I didn’t want to be a bother. This was the universe providing for me, giving me healthy sustenance to help keep my bucket full and I said no.
Lady Nada then explained that one of the biggest problems with those who are not as abundant as they want or able to do the endeavors they dream of is that they are unable to receive. I explained to her that I do spiritual readings, guidance sessions, and channelings because I enjoy it and receive monetary compensation for most of that work. I told her that I thought that would be enough to fill my bucket. She then explained that while money is a form of abundance, it is not the only form and that I give more than I receive in monetary compensation. I told her that I thought that I would have to give more in order to do more of my spiritual work and she said that this is a fundamental misunderstanding. We must be able to receive more for the universe, take and be grateful for all that is offered so that our bucket is full and we can then actually DO more, BE more, HELP more. She explained that so many are running around with their bucket half full and don’t understand why they are unable to realize their dreams. She also said that too many of us view abundance as financial only and that is really missing the point that it is all energy and all connected. That someone giving you a coupon at the grocery store is abundance, that someone picking up your trash can where it blew into the street is abundance or posting a problem on facebook and being given the solution is abundance. We just need to receive it with gratitude and not feel guilt or like we are taking from another.
I left the conversation and have been pondering it for the last week. There is a part of many of us that have issues receiving. It is either because we feel that then we will owe someone, that we are not deserving, or maybe were were given things in our lives and then had them held against us. It is part of our culture to be strong, independent and self sufficient. Receiving is seen as weak or even greedy. It is this very mindset that holds us back.
I was in bed last night, being loved on by my dog when it finally all clicked. Pheobe, our little 7 year old pom-a-poo has always been a distant dog. She has acted like she was traumatized or abused even though I got her at 10 weeks and knew she had always been treated kind with us. If you called her name, she would run and go hide under the bed. In fact, three years ago, I contemplated finding her a new home. I wanted her to be happy and I couldn’t imagine she was happy spending 90% of her day under my bed. As I awakened and my vibration changed, Pheobe started to slowly come out of her shell. So last night here I was with this dog who kept nudging my hand for me to pet her more and more, I of course complied. Before, she could not receive attention, she didn’t allow herself too. Now she allows herself to RECEIVE and is GIVEN all she can handle before its too much and she retreats back under the bed.
We too have to learn to receive in order to be given all that the universe has for us. It’s not selfish, in fact I seriously doubt that is an issue of many on the spiritual path. We tend to be overly giving and empty our buckets. That needs to change. We must learn to receive not only to obtain the life we want, but so that we can do more, be more, and help more.
Just in case you are wondering, I passed the initiation. We’ll see what wonderful things the universe has in store now. Much love to you all <3