I just returned home from an amazing and intensive 8-day training where I learned to become a Kambo practitioner. Kambo uses the secretion from the frog Phyllomedusa bicolor to heal a person on all layers of their being. I chose the group at the Rainforest Healing Center – Boutique Ayahuasca Retreats – Iquitos, Peru to train with as they have a direct connection with the Matses tribe in Brazil/Peru. This tribe has sustainably collected and used this medicine for hundreds of years. They hold to the deepest of traditions and respect for the frog that they collect the venom from.
So much in the spiritual world can become a new age fad without understanding the deeper connections. It is important that I align myself with the true traditions and respect for all life. When you follow the traditions with deep reverence you can tap into the morphic field of all the shamans before. It is incredibly powerful as you can feel their presence, their knowing, and the jungle.
The training was intense as we learned to navigate the medicine, dose ourselves and each other while studying the traditional ways. Kambo works on all the layers and helps to dig in and find the source of an issue, pulling it out by the roots. Imagine studying, learning, and facilitating all while digging into your own limitations and trauma. The five of us that were trained together bonded on a deep soul level.
One of the main themes I worked through during the training was the fear of walking fully in my power. Often I have felt that I have only scratched the surface of all that I am. This is a common thread among so many of us that are working on embodying our souls.
The cause for the fear can be so many things from this life and past lives. We have felt the persecution before, the judgment, being ostracized and misunderstood. More than likely we carry those threads into our current life. We may not embrace ourselves fully because there’s so much fear of the unknown. What happens when the soul’s power is fully embraced? The mind can create so many fearful scenarios that create roadblocks within. I knew about all of this and worked to heal it. However, what I discovered was that it wasn’t fear that kept me from embracing all that I am. At the heart of me not stepping fully into my power was unforgiveness.
During the training, I worked on healing my childhood traumas on the deepest level. What I found was that deep within anger still resided. For so many years I chose to no longer be angry. It didn’t serve me, it sure didn’t serve the ones living with me. I believed fully that anger’s true name was grief. I allowed myself to dive into the deep waters of grief versus the fire of anger. Through this, I had loved, held, and healed so many aspects of my inner children. I was surprised to find a layer of deep, deep anger. It was then that I learned that anger is actually unforgiveness.
It brought back a lucid dream I had where my mother appeared and asked me when I was going to forgive her. I told her that I had forgiven her, that I understood that she had unhealed wounds that bled all over me. Her response was “No you haven’t, until you have removed all that was done from your cells, you have not forgiven.” As quickly as she came, she was gone, leaving me pondering how do I remove the trauma from my cells?
With my new understanding, I went into my next Kambo ceremony with the intention to heal where I held unforgiveness for self and others. What I was shown shocked me and helped me understand myself so much more. It was one of those giant light bulb moments.
When one walks fully in their power they access all of themselves, their fire, their passion, their joy, and their anger. I realized that I was afraid of opening the floodgates to my full potential because within me was still the wrath of anger. It would come out like a fire-breathing dragon attacking due to unhealed trauma and unforgiveness within this wounded child aspect.
It’s not that anger is bad, don’t misunderstand me. Anger is a powerful emotion that can ignite movements. Yet, when anger is uncentered, it can create damage. When the Phoenix burns and rises it doesn’t burn the world around it too. Unhealed anger stemming from unforgiveness has the potential to set those around the Phoenix rising on fire as well. A risk I understood subconsciously and was not willing to take.
With the assistance of Kambo, I worked on forgiving my parents and most importantly myself. I had to forgive where I too had bled on others from my unhealed wounds. When I purged, it was the green color of anger and full of foamy emotion. This is what my mother meant when she said I had to get it all out of my cells.
It is the healing of the human that allows us to walk fully in our power. The more we let go of the trauma, the pain, and the unforgiveness from ourselves, the more we can fill ourselves with our Divine Soul’s light.
Over the next few ceremonies, I took the theme of anger and unforgiveness deeper. I was shown the ancestral line and how the fear of stepping into one’s power permeated. I worked to pull the seeds of unforgiveness for life’s harshness from each of them. I could see the anger, the unforgiveness for how life was unfair, heartbreaking, and gut-wrenching. All of their stories were different, yet the base emotion was the same. They too held unforgiveness that bred anger and kept them from embracing all that they were. When the ancestral line was clear, I went forward to my children and grandchildren It was so incredibly beautiful and freeing. As soon as I cleared the last grandbaby my purge began and as all that left my body, I became filled with joy. I no longer need to fear my wrath or hold myself back from embodying all that I am. It is Done.
It is such a beautiful process and I’m internally grateful for this incredible frog medicine and the people that brought it to my world. It has assisted greatly with my healing and brought clarity. This is only just the beginning. As my relationship with the medicine grows, so too does my understanding and healing.
I share my experience so that you too can look deep within yourself to find where you may be holding back the floodgates of your own Soul. Maybe it’s unforgiveness, maybe it’s unworthiness, maybe it’s the fear of the unknown, find it, see it, heal it. The energy coming into this planet is so intense and it is all perfectly designed so that we can walk our soul fully on this earth plane. Now is the time to dig deep and heal whatever has been blocking you. Sending you all lots of love as deepen more and more into this Soul Journey.
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